In need of a smaller heart

So, while everything in my professional life seems to be going swimmingly, the personal life is taking a beating.  And of course everyone I talk to has conflicting ideas/perspectives some hinging on me being the problem [it's my fault I let these kind of people into my life/I should have seen the signs sooner], others negating all responsbility from me and that simply – I’ve done nothing wrong.  And I’m just to my breaking point yet again.

I’d like to think I have a lot to offer – besides looking good on paper [if you will].  But it seems I keep managing to let people in my life that have no concept of acceptable communication patterns.  If I’m just sending you a crap email, that asks about the weather - be my guest to ignore it.  Especially if you plan  on talking to me in the near future – no big deal.  But when time and time again comes up where you’re not talking to me, you’re not responding to my emails – short of the ones where you’ve agitated me to the point of senting pissed off emails, this isn’t effective communication.

I know I have high standards, I know I can expect a lot.  But I didn’t think this time around I was expecting too much, besides open communication.  I know I’m leaving in September, so I know this was a fleeting battle anyway, but if this was something worth saving, then this would be something worth fighting for.

But obviously it’s not.  Obviously I wish I could stop feeling, even though I know the end is inevitable, even though I know his next hand, it hurts like hell.

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